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January
2010
Snowy Electrics…
This is one of those days when the sun shines. Recent
days have been snow, rain, and more snow. Hardly
an encouragement to tinker in the shed, when that
requires digging the snow away from the path to
get access to said shed. Getting back into tinkering
mode is a relief, after all spring is only a few
weeks away. Well, it is, isn't it? Batteries that
need re-charging, and tyres that need air, oil changes
and fettling those bits that you never got around
to last year. Ah, bliss.
Dangerous
Driving: (Quote from Pitman's Motor Cyclists Book
published 1943)
A person driving furiously renders himself liable to a fine
of £50, or up to four months imprisonment for the first offence. He must
disclose his name and address to anyone who complains that he has driven furiously.
Brakes: (Quote from same Pitman's Motor Cyclists Book published 1943)
Two brakes, acting
independently, must be fitted to the machine, each sufficiently powerful to prevent
the wheel on which it takes effect from revolving. Both brakes may be on the same
wheel.
Feked English Dictionary:
Heaven:-
noun; a place or state of supreme bliss: Beer in one hand, fag in the other, arse
on sofa, feet on stool, bucket of crisps on table, great bike movie on tv, wench
bringing more beer and crisps regularly. Check
out the best bike movies to watch here. Beer, fags and crisps available online
at Tesco's. Find your own wench.
Hell:- noun; a state or place of great
suffering: Bike in the hedge, bits of it on the road, sat on a verge, leathers
all scuffed, helmet scraped, gloves knackered, exercising foul language vocabulary,
dying for a fag, trying to figure out why that corner was quite so slippery (always
used to take it at 60), how the hell am I gonna get home, mobile got no signal,
raining again...
Pain:- noun; a strongly unpleasant bodily sensation:
Skinned knuckles, frozen toes, frozen fingers, pushing 200kg bike 3 miles with
no petrol, speeding fine, 500cc single kick-back ankle, wasp down yer jacket.
Fear: - noun; an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger,
pain, or harm: the feeling you get just before an event to cause Hell, or Pain
(see above), the blue light in the mirror at 1**mph, the jam sandwich hiding in
the side turning that you just went past at 1**mph, the back end sliding out,
black ice, pigs, fat pillions, gay pillions. F. D. Roosevelt said “the only
thing we have to fear is fear itself”, clearly he never rode a motorbike. | |
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